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We just made it through some nastiness on the winter weather front. A blizzard tore through, leaving much cold and many snowdrifts in its wake. I've had to drive to and/or from work in weather like this, and it's scary. Particularly the ice and the lack of visibility. It was bad enough that the police were asking people to stay off the roads unless it was an emergency and if it was an emergency, to call 911.
Fortunately, I don't have to drive in that kind of thing anymore. It's one of the blessings of unemployment. Hundreds of schools were closed for the day, including ours, so we all stayed here and stayed warm. I even made some progress on a new short story. This one will break some new ground for me, so I hope it turns out well. I like it so far.
Our podcast, Variant Frequencies, has just posted a flash piece by Christa Faust. We're still a little stunned at getting a name like hers! It's read by Leann Mabry, whose voice I adore. Check it out.
A LJ friend recently posted on depression, for which I thank her. It's an ongoing battle for me, too, but I'm reluctant to say anything because part of mine is that I'm sure people don't want to hear about it. I found her post interesting because some of it rang very true for me but other parts didn't, which tells me it really is experienced individually. Also because she writes so damn well. I've been writing privately about mine, which is helpful because I don't have to censor any of it.
It's still there, though. Those emo commercials make it seem like all I have to do is take Cymbalta or Effexor and I'll be happy again. I am on meds, and some days I wonder if they do anything at all. Maybe it'd be that much worse if I didn't take them, though. The worst of it is isolation (not the same as being alone, which I like), worthlessness, guilt that I spend so much time on myself, and anger directed inward and outward. There's physical stuff, too.
The people who love me, save me. I enjoy their company and they lift my spirits and take me out of myself for a while. Leaving the hospital job gives me more energy for them.
But it seems that depression is always lurking.
Fortunately, I don't have to drive in that kind of thing anymore. It's one of the blessings of unemployment. Hundreds of schools were closed for the day, including ours, so we all stayed here and stayed warm. I even made some progress on a new short story. This one will break some new ground for me, so I hope it turns out well. I like it so far.
Our podcast, Variant Frequencies, has just posted a flash piece by Christa Faust. We're still a little stunned at getting a name like hers! It's read by Leann Mabry, whose voice I adore. Check it out.
A LJ friend recently posted on depression, for which I thank her. It's an ongoing battle for me, too, but I'm reluctant to say anything because part of mine is that I'm sure people don't want to hear about it. I found her post interesting because some of it rang very true for me but other parts didn't, which tells me it really is experienced individually. Also because she writes so damn well. I've been writing privately about mine, which is helpful because I don't have to censor any of it.
It's still there, though. Those emo commercials make it seem like all I have to do is take Cymbalta or Effexor and I'll be happy again. I am on meds, and some days I wonder if they do anything at all. Maybe it'd be that much worse if I didn't take them, though. The worst of it is isolation (not the same as being alone, which I like), worthlessness, guilt that I spend so much time on myself, and anger directed inward and outward. There's physical stuff, too.
The people who love me, save me. I enjoy their company and they lift my spirits and take me out of myself for a while. Leaving the hospital job gives me more energy for them.
But it seems that depression is always lurking.
