Inner Peace Is For Losers

It's here!  Episode 1 of my podcast, "The Unbelievable Origin of Superspiff and the Toothpick Kid" is now up at my new website Dave Shot First.  Hear me ramble about secret identities (the real golden rule), would-be superheroes (not to be confused with poser superheroes), Cyberpunk and the Cyber-Commandos (the cool and teh suck).  Like I say in the intro, I wrote this to be an intergenerational thing, so if you have kids, hopefully they'll get a kick out of it, too. 

If you feel so inclined after listening, please blog, link, and, to quote Batman, "Tell all your friends about me."  I'd really appreciate it. 

This podcast owes a huge debt to other people.  First, to my pal Ryan Cordell, who is possibly this story's biggest fan, and who really encouraged me to pursue podcasting it.  Emma's put up with some really late nights the last week and has been very supportive.  Thank you, love!  

Zak Jarvis (the enigmatic </a></b></a>voidmonster) created the killer album cover you see above.  The mysterious Bart Allen, who's secret identity I am sworn not to divulge, crafted the Superspiff and Toothpick Kid theme music that plays at the episode's beginning.  And Tangential Dream was kind enough to let me use his "Cinema Shuffle" jam at the closing credits.  Rick Stringer might be the nicest guy in podcasting, and was very generous and helpful when I approached him with questions.  Finally, a HUGE thanks to Mur Lafferty, who was kind enough to let me pester her with questions about the whole podcasting process.  Mur, the next time I see you, the pie's on me.  One way or another.

Obviously, if you've read my blog in the last couple of days, you know that this is a work in progress for me.  Any feedback you can give me is greatly appreciated.

(There's no itunes button, yet, but I'm hoping to add that soon.  I'm also going to try and tweak some of the blog formatting, -- i.e., make the red letters bigger.)

Hope you like it!

As noted here at TrekMovie.com, I can at least say that I've got one panel that I know of going down at this year's Comic-con:

"The two publishing licensees for Star Trek (Pocket Books and IDW Comics) are going to hold a panel on Thursday (room 32AB, 4-5PM). Here is the description:

Star Trek without a blueprint. How books and comics keep expanding the boundaries of the Star Trek universe. Andy Mangels moderator, Margaret Clark (executive editor, Pocket Books), Andy Schmidt (senior editor, IDW) and writers Kevin Dilmore, Dave Mack, Scott Tipton and Dayton Ward."

I expect that the panel will highlight both Pocket's and IDW's forthcoming Trek titles over the next year or so, along with attempting to answer questions put forth by the audience. I was at the combined Pocket/Tokyopop/CBS Licensing panel like this at Comic-con 2006, and it drew a pretty damned impressively-sized audience. I'm hoping for similar turnout this time around. Otherwise, we're gonna hafta feed Kevin to the pigs out back.

sorry, kids. I am filled with the black bile, in the metaphorical humours sense.


but otherwise healthy and recovering. just sad that no one except my brother wants to see my pits. (He promptly pulled out a PEN LIGHT to observe them better. he is legend.)

see...my...PITS! see my pits! they're now tonsil-less!

You may remember this missive from June 25th:

Idle vending machine thoughts.


You might like to know that as of this morning, all ten packs of Nerds originally loaded to the machine remain in place. Conversely, all ten packs of Trail Mix, most of which I'm pretty sure where there when Clinton was president, are gone.


We now return you to your normally scheduled Thursday, already in progress.

• 08:10 Starting the day with looking at pictures of someone's appendiceal orafice. Could be worse, actually. #
• 08:14 @mightymur Agreed. Today is a RAR day, most definitely. #
• 17:33 That's right, FLEE before the auditory obnoxiousness of my Fear Factory station on Pandora, and let me finish my clinic charts in peace. :) #
• 23:14 Go-home time. Karma will flay those alive whose idiocy caused me to stay this late... and if it doesn't, I just might. #
• 23:58 @melaniet42 Thanks for the follow - Columbia-ns, unite! That said, I'm not sure what it says that you added me after my last tweet... :) #
• 00:00 @MsInformation No, that's for the day itself. The perps need something slower and more painful, perhaps involving a straight edge and salt. #

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Nine years ago today, it was a Friday.  I met Emma at the California Grill for breakfast that morning, then spent the rest of the day hanging out with my friends.  She walked down the aisle that evening, and we walked back up it together.  Later that night, we danced with each other to U2's cover of "Unchained Melody."  

Nine years ago today I made one of the best decisions of my life. 

I love you, Em.  Thanks for sharing life with me.

Setting up the whole website/podcast thing is taking waaaaaaaay longer than I thought it would.  Four out of the last five nights I've stayed up way too late trying to figure things out.   Download this, upload that, wait, not all of that will upload to my server!  Why not?  I don't know.  Contact tech people.  Grrrr.  

Because I've stayed up so late, I haven't gotten up early, and as a result have gotten no writing done.  Which is also discouraging.  

In June, I was hoping to have two episodes up before the reading at Vroman's.  Now, I'm just hoping I can have an episode up.  Part of me is also considering side-lining it until after the Vroman's reading, and focus on getting the CDs made.  Part of me wants to just say to hell with it, and hire someone to set it up for me.  Another part of me is considering ditching the stuff I'm using now and just switch over to something like libsyn, which is exclusively for podcasters.  Surely, it must be easier than it is now.  

ETA: Low and behold!  The PodPress plugin now seems to be working.  Stay tuned!

I don't want to get into too great of detail here. My Mother had a minor stroke on Tuesday, and is resting comfortably in the hospital for the time being.

Stop cowering and wipe the blood out of your eyes, people, this isn't Matt Wallace you're reading right now. This is that other Matt, the smaller-in-stature Matthew Wayne Selznick coming at you right now. Where's Matt Wallace? Hell, how am I supposed to know? Just look and see where the light of the sun is blocked out by his crushing bulk, and you'll probably find him... but of course it will be too late for you. Not my problem right now; not why I've taken over his blog.

So what am I doing here, and who am I, anyway?

Let's hit those in reverse order.

My name is Matthew Wayne Selznick, and I've taken over the Next Fix blog for precisely one blog post. I'm the author of "Brave Men Run -- A Novel of the Sovereign Era."

Some of you may be familiar with the book -- it was a 2006 Parsec Award nominee and is one of the top ten most popular books of all time at Podiobooks.com... and it's been picked up for publication!

On Sunday, July 13, 2008, "Brave Men Run" will be released in a brand new paperback edition from Swarm Press.

On Sunday, July 13, I'm asking everyone interested in owning a paperback copy of "Brave Men Run" to please purchase it from Amazon.com on that day. The more folks who make their purchase(s) on that day, the higher "Brave Men Run" will rank on Amazon.com's bestseller charts. I'm shooting for the moon, here, folks, and I'll take Mars if I can get it. A high ranking on Amazon.com's bestseller chart means a ton of positive attention for "Brave Men Run," for Swarm Press, and on the power of the audience (that's you) to influence the market.

On that day, I'll be with you from 10 AM - 6 PM Eastern Time via live streaming video, every hour on the hour. I'll give you updates on the sales success of "Brave Men Run," chat with you in the embedded chat room... and present some brand new, very special, Sovereign Era content.

What have I done with the gignormous and talented Matt Wallace? Well, see, that's what I'm here to talk about! I managed to subdue the raging beast just long enough for him to participate in a very special project.

You see, that "special content" is seven brand new short stories set in the first year of the Sovereign Era universe -- the setting of "Brave Men Run," where people with remarkable abilities reveal themselves and change the course of human destiny. Some of the hottest names in podcast fiction have contributed stories:

J.C. Hutchins (The "7th Son" trilogy)
Mur Lafferty ("Playing For Keeps")
Nathan Lowell (The "Golden Age of the Solar Clipper" novels)
J.R. Blackwell (365 Tomorrows)
P.G. Holyfield ("Murder at Avedon Hill")
Jared Axelrod (The Voice of Free Planet X)

and...

Matt Wallace, with whom you are acquainted.

I'll be reading these stories, one per hour, live and on the air, for the first time anywhere on July 13, 2008. It's my way of giving a little something back to everyone who commits to buying a copy (copies?) of "Brave Men Run" on that day. You're going to make a commitment; I want to be there with you.

I'm very, very pleased that Matt had one limb left that wasn't already writing something (his left foot, I believe) to craft a Sovereign Era story, and I can't wait to share it with all of you. Visit http://www.bravemenrun.com or http://www.mattselznick.com to learn more...

and I'll see you on July 13, 2008 at 10 AM Eastern / 7 AM Pacific Time!

Oh, and keep your guard up... Wallace might be back here any minute. Don't get soft.

• 11:28 ...and the A/C remains not-fixed. Round four of "repair service" scheduled. Sigh. #
• 18:04 "I do not want to be sent to a little room to have a wank, like a leper." #
• 23:29 @vandermore High praise, sir! Not sure what I've done to earn it, but for whatever it's worth, I found you to be the same. :) #
• 23:30 @KJToo Hah! And you know, that domain is open. I'm tempted... #

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"After the bombing, most Iraqis saw what the perpetrators of this attack were trying to do."
-- On the bombing of the Golden Mosque of Samarra in Iraq; Washington, D.C.; March 13, 2006


Thanks, bro, for that penetrating analysis.


203 days to go!

Inspiration is for amateurs. The rest of us just show up for work.    --Artist Chuck Close quoted in Art + Auction magazine.

I've always believed it's important to write (or paint or sing or dance) everyday, if possible, whether or not you feel like it. If I waited until I felt the muse was with me, I wouldn't get much done.

Some of my co-workers and I played basketball at lunch today against some high school kids.  After routing them, we shook hands, and one of the high schoolers said to me with a huge grin on his face, "You're CRAZY, man."  

Seriously, that kid though I was some kind of roaring, mad barbarian.

And I think I could get used to that.  Some of the time, at least.

Wow. Half of 2008 is gone already. Slow down, dagnabbit!

Anyway, here's where various things stand on the writing front: 




There are a couple of other things in the works, as well, but they're not at a point where I can really talk about them yet.

And the wheels continue to grind....

• 12:10 Have you settled down yet, poor Twitter server? *pet, pet* #
• 12:27 CMAR - Construction Manager At Risk in Durham, apparently tinyurl.com/3k55ed #
• 15:11 And now my Gmail is having "issues." Whee! #
• 15:14 @susanz @nobilis So does our five make @scifilaura and I BEYOND crazy cat women? #
• 15:30 And so, round 3 of Fix teh A/C is complete, with another supposed victory. Hoping it lasts longer than the last 2... #
• 15:31 @mightymur Argh! Good that you are back up and running again, at least. #
• 15:44 @Kamikat @susanz I like your math. #
• 15:45 @pfischer NO! You have outed me! KITTEHS - to @vandermore's MooreSphere! We detonate Paraguay's gas reserves in 10 minutes. #
• 17:04 @natachac Much luck! Any oral exams, or just written? #
• 21:05 @chrisfixedkitty Ryoga Kitty, catnip a no-go. You have been trapped in a Schrodinger Wormhole. Feather-stick extraction sequence commencing. #
• 23:41 @Daecabhir @anthraces Oh, my. It would be the Large Hadron Collider nightmare scenario, then? #

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Hey all,

Damn, have I been lazy or what? It's been at least two weeks since my last update of any real substance.

( Time to get back to it, amigos... )

Guess I'm a little behind on these....

June 28th:
"I don't know whether I'm going to win or not. I think I am. I do know I'm ready for the job. And, if not, that's just the way it goes."
-- Des Moines, Iowa; August 21, 2000


Well, I suppose that's that, then.


June 29th:
"There's only one person who hugs the mothers and the widows, the wives and the kids, upon the death of their loved one. Others hug but, having committed the troops, I've got an additional responsibility to hug and that's me and I know what it's like."
-- Washington, D.C.; December 11, 2002


And to think, he even gave up his golf game so he'd have more time for this kind of thing.


June 30th:
"They have miscalculated me as a leader."
-- Westminster, California; September 13, 2000


It's your uncanny knack for inspiring oratory that threw them.


204 days to go!

That’s right. This weekend I bagged Hypericon 4 like a quartet of Alabama circus roadies taking down an escaped bull elephant on homemade meth. Or something to that general effect.

( The overly long rambling excruciatingly detailed con report. NOW WITH PICTURES! )

You know what sucks about that show JAG besides everything? Look, we all love a good courtroom drama, right? But seriously, no orbiting battles with lizard alien space pirates? No giant talking robotic spheres that shoot lasers? Not even ONE omnipotent non-corporeal celestial arbiter? And have they EVER busted out a MOAB (Mother.Of.All.Bombs) that could destroy an entire star system?

Fucking bullshit, man.

Which is why Decoder Ring Theatre is proud to present the newest episode of Deck Gibson: Far Reach Commander: Deck Gibson and the Court of Eternity! I more or less ripped the script for this one from the Green Lantern. SILVER AGE Green Lantern. None of that Kyle Rayner Teen Beat crap. So you know the story is ace.

Subscribe to Decoder Ring Theatre for free or download the episode directly here.

And tune in a single skinny fortnight from now for our next installment: Deck Gibson and The Plutonium Man!

“See if they have that in a medium. That’s HILARIOUS.” – The Monarch

And it is. And it is.

The Amazing Shirt of the Week Club has given us the adjacent two-tone number from last night’s “The Buddy System” ep of The Venture Bros featuring Rusty’s Day Camp for Boy Adventurers. It was hilarious, the shirt is hilarious, and all of us wanted to be child adventurers a la Johnny Quest at one point, didn't we?

Last week my devoted capo The HellJack beat the hordes to my inbox and claimed the prize I put up for that badass Sergeant Hatred tee. He will not only be appearing in a future story of mine, he’ll be killing someone in it. He’s already dropped his modus operandi on me, and all I’ll say is my fans rarely disappoint. And The HellJack NEVER does.

So many of you wanted to commit the ultimate violent act in my fiction that I’m extending this prize package another week. The rules are simple: the first one to e-mail me at matt@matt-wallace.net with the subject line “Matt Fucking Wallace, I Will Buy You Swag” and pledge the shirt will win a guest role in an upcoming Matt Fucking Wallace story AND will be allowed to choose the method in which they dispatch another character (or characters. If you want a full-on, balls-out, tits-up orgy of death, destruction, and mayhem . . . I can do that).

Hit “compose” quickly. This is the last week I’m offering up this one. I’m willing to whore my art, but only so much, you know?